You are not alone Mama

I think today I am going to just write what is on my heart. I’m sitting in a very messy house, struggling to write this blog post. I have to admit I feel frustrated and overwhelmed with the slow-moving pace of my web design business. I feel unqualified to help people in their website journey. I am spinning my wheels with no way of knowing if I’ll ever reach my potential. I’m afraid to blog about what I truly care about because I am afraid of the ever-growing backlash of the internet. Strangers can be mean to each other these days and it makes it so difficult to rise above the noise and be heard. I want to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

If you are wondering if there is anyone else out there like you, if you feel like crumbling under the pressure, if your brain won’t quiet down for long enough so you can catch your breath, if your house looks like mine, or worse, if you feel like crying, if you have a million important things to do but are just staring at your computer please know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

To be honest, I have no idea if what I have to share is taboo, or has been beaten to death, or overshared, but I don’t care. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and insomnia. All of these diagnoses have come over the span of 20 years. The most recent are PTSD and ADHD. Over the last year, I have come to accept that I have a lot of childhood trauma to work through so that I am able to heal, sleep, and feel good about my life and where it’s headed.

I think writing is a good place to start my healing journey. I typically blog about my web design business in hopes of proving to the outside world that I am an “expert” in my chosen field. That I am a real person, that I am capable, that I am professional. But that doesn’t feel authentic to me. It never has. I do the same thing with social media. I try to come across as someone who knows what she’s doing, and that I am worthy. I don’t want to do that anymore.

I already know I am good enough. Most of the time I just don’t FEEL good enough. And isn’t that funny? The more we don’t believe in ourselves, the more we feel we need to prove ourselves to the world. No more.

I have a wonderful support system, and for that I am grateful. I know many out there don’t have the support they need in order to get better. This makes me sad. I honestly don’t know how to help those who need support other than sharing my story. And so, I say to you, I hope in some way this helps you in your own healing journey.

I thought I’d start by sharing some of my favorite resources that I use every day to help me push past negative thoughts and feelings. Now, I know that it is ok to have negative feelings, but it is not ok to sit in those feelings forever. They can overcome you, become your identity, and ultimately ruin your life. Sounds dramatic, but trust me, I would know.

My top two podcasts of 2023

• The Mel Robbins Podcast is quite literally changing my life. I take comfort in hearing Mel’s voice as I’m driving to work. I have never missed an episode and I strongly suggest you follow her channel. She also has a FREE workbook right at the top of her page to help you make 2024 your best year yet.

• The We Can Do Hard Things Podcast is another one of those podcasts that I listen to that has made me laugh, made me feel sad, and has really made me think about what it means to dig deep and learn who I am. These beautiful souls talk about the Enneagram personality test which helps determine your personality type and, hopefully, gives us better insight into ourselves. Give them a listen.

Here are some ways that I cope when I start feeling down on myself:

• I get my ass outside. I am not kidding about this either. The outdoors has healed me in so many ways. Go for a walk, get some fresh air, and listen to the trees in the wind. It sounds so cheesy, but I am not kidding it helps.

• I get my ass moving and I do some sort of exercise. Most of the time I’ll do yoga, do some squats, and/or get on the treadmill. I’ve also learned how to lift weights this last year thanks to my wonderful partner in crime.

• Don’t forget to breathe! My little one tells me all the time to breathe. He’s learned it from me and from his teachers at school (whom I am so grateful for).

• I drink water. Anytime I feel even slightly bad I drink water. It’s the first think I think of doing.

• I eat more fruits and veggies. There have been studies done on the effects of food on the brain. Some of which are shared on the Mel Robbins Podcast by the way. :)

Look, I’m not a doctor, but I know you know all of these things are no-brainers. I think the key to success is just reminding each other of what we want, and why we want it.

Getting more specific, I’d love to resonate with women in business with children who have the same struggles as I do. Along this newfound journey, I want to share how I cope with these issues as I stumble, fall, and pick myself back up when it comes to business. I want to share my story, and how I want to do things differently for my child. I want him to know that life is bumpy, but that he is capable, and that he has so much support along the way.

I think I’ll end here for now. Take some time to listen to either of these wonderful podcasts and I encourage you to share what you’ve been listening to as well. Maybe your healing journey will help a lost soul find their way. Let’s create a domino effect of love and encouragement for one another.

If this blog post resonates with you in any way and you want to read more about how I run my business, raise a four-year-old as a single mom, and work through my mental health challenges I would love for you to visit me here again.